263. "Todavía estoy aquí".

Despedíamos 2013 con la joven china Lees More, de sobrenombre corazón roto, y las fotos que durante tiempo le han ayudado a sobrellevar su depresión. Una estrategia de realización personal utilizada por infinidad de otras muchas personas con mayor o menor talento para la fotografía.

Christian Hopkins es un joven norteamericano de 20 años con un gran talento y que sufre también de depresión mayor. Condición que le lleva a auto-devaluar su impresionante producción fotográfica, precisamente aquella con la que busca expresar sus sentimientos dolorosos más íntimos en búsqueda de superación.

Dice que empezó a hacer fotografías con un ánimo específicamente artístico hace poco tiempo, en 2010, pero su obra ha llamado bien pronto la atención de la prensa especializada. A principios de este año, en una entrevista explicaba que sus imágenes le reflejaban, y que tenían la finalidad de recordarnos nuestra propia humanidad: "All I’m really trying to do with my photography is remind people that they’re human. I want people to feel from my creations. When you look at my photographs, yes, you are seeing me, but it’s not just me. Maybe, you see yourself, or maybe, you see a friend. Whoever may lie within the frame, you are seeing a human being. What I’m trying to do with the majority of my photographs is express some infinitesimal fragment of the essence of humanity. We are constantly beset by so many emotions, and often times we fail to find the right words to describe these feelings (or perhaps the words simply don’t exist). Instead, I’ll use images to capture those feeling that we all share. I’ll consider a photograph a success if someone can look at it and say, “me too.”"

En esas líneas, sin embargo, no deja entrever sus sentimientos depresivos, que fueron los que pocas semanas después le hicieron renegar, al menos públicamente, de sus fotografías que borró de su cuenta personal en Flickr (repositorio gratuito de imágenes en Internet). Afortunadamente, un amigo tuvo la oportuna ocurrencia de “salvar” algunas de sus imágenes e incluirlas en otro de esos repositorios de imágenes.

En relación con todo esto él mismo escribía a mediados de abril:

"My name is Christian Hopkins. The photographs in this post are indeed mine. I've been suffering from Major Depression for the past 4 years and it has manifested itself throughout that period in many ways, photography included. I took most of these photos 2 years ago. I am 20 years old and am currently "going through" my freshmen year of college. I'm currently on medical leave, ergo quotation marks.

I did tell my friend that that I was going to delete my photographs. I was going through a somewhat severe episode of depression, and I am often not myself during said episodes. Who "myself" may truly be is still something I struggle with daily.
I'm not sure how to respond to his decision to post my photographs. I can't say I am upset, since I used to post my photographs on flickr anyway, which is probably where he acquired them. In retrospect I suppose I should be grateful that he would have such an appreciation of my work that he would try to preserve it. I don't know. We're still talking.

If anything, I hope I helped someone with my photography. They're me. Perhaps they are you as well. Maybe they're neither. Maybe they're we.

I apologize for any grammatical/spelling mistakes. It's been a rough night.

Edit: Thank you. I have read and will continue to read every comment and pm. It's better than sleeping. Sleeping means that I'll have to wake up, and that's something I have grown to dislike vehemently. I'm sorry if I'm unable to respond to your message. There are a lot and I'm not usually comfortable talking to people, so I try to avoid it as much as possible. I hope my cowardice doesn't come at anyone's expense.

My pictures are still here. I am still here".

-----oOo-----

Descargo de responsabilidad: He utilizado las imágenes sin ánimo de lucro, con un objetivo de investigación y estudio, en el marco del principio de uso razonable - sin embargo, estoy dispuesto a retirarlas en caso de cualquier infracción de las leyes de copyright.

Disclaimer: I have used the images in a non for profit, scholarly interest, under the fair use principle - however, I am willing to remove them if there is any infringement of copyright laws.